


From periwinkle lavender to blushing reds

by orphan_account



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Hanahaki Disease, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Titles, chuuves parents, it isn't as long as the other fanfic i swear, its kinda super bloody and angsty im sorry in advance, kiss kiss fall in love?, what are other words for lungs???, wooooo this is really gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-06-24 10:24:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19721770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Park Chaewon only wanted to be supportive of her younger group member. It wasn't supposed to end up like this.In which Son Hyejoo plays a thief in Park Chaewon's life, and replaces air with disgustingly elegant flower petals that don't belong there.God forbid that these idiots actually talk about their feelings with each other-- that isn't how this works.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've been dead for a while and I apologize, but I was honestly feeling wayyy too lazy to update and edit my other fanfic so I'm pretty much going to flip flop between writings. It's a bit taxing to handle all of this writing by myself and read the same text over and over again, but I hope to upload more! Please enjoy!

Chaewon doesn’t know when she’s started developing feelings for Hyejoo, and she doesn’t regret a single thing.

Maybe it was the first time she saw her when her heart was caught in her throat and her world was suddenly colorful again— okay, maybe that’s a little much. But during the Egoist recording time periods she just.. she couldn’t help it. After recording a quick LoonaTV, mocking the dances of Egoist with Jiwoo, she was about to head out of the parking garage to find something to snack upon when she felt a strange lump in her throat. Quickly coughing, she watches as a flower petal fluttered down onto the metallic floor gracefully, yet a sense of dread burned her mind.

When? Why? Was it because she had became close to the girl and helped her during her debut? Or maybe when she was helping her out with schoolwork and making sure she took care of herself when she was busy practicing? Or how Hyejoo could make her laugh by simply being around her, smile so widely when she had once offered the older girl to come play games with her. 

Was it those moments that made her fall in love?

Everyone at least had an idea of hanahaki disease. It wasn’t common but it felt like something that came out of a storybook, and happened to the unlucky few that caught themselves in the whirlpool of unrequited love. 

Chaewon curled her fingers around the petal, shoved it in her pocket and hastily ran out of the room. It wasn’t bad now. Would it ever go away? Would she at one point cough up bouquets of her one-sided love for her own maknae?

Chaewon grimaced, slumping down onto the curb of the sidewalk outside of the parking garage. She didn’t need to think about this. If she just ignored it enough, perhaps it would all go away. Chaewon could be happy, and so many things more had it not been for the cursed plants that infested her rib cage.

It wasn't unlike Chaewon to bolt away for some much needed alone time from the group. Hyejoo oftentimes needed her own escape from the constant workload that her and the rest of the crew had to get through. They never took it personally, but it was strange that Chaewon seemed to run away shortly after Hyejoo joked about their coming up group song, Love4Eva, being a hidden message from someone in the group professing their love.

Of course Hyejoo had her suspicions, and with work being so strenuous, surely two people were bound to grow feelings for each other. Chuuves seemed too convenient to be just a natural deduction from fans-- perhaps a clever plot by management, she always thought.

For Hyejoo, the team dynamic worked wonders. Living with eleven new best friends, the comfort level and amount of sharing that went on was unlike any friend circles she'd even been in. Darkest secrets and silliest dreams could be shared without any worry they'd be shared outside their clique. 

Slowly walking outside to the garage, from a distance she noticed a seated Chaewon, in her own. She didn't detect the sounds of tears, so felt it safe to approach. Hyejoo's heels echoed in the concrete environment, making it unable to sneak up, though Hyejoo called out just to be sure Chaewon knew. "Cha Cha, what's going on?" Hyejoo curiously asked, still walking toward Chaewon.

It'd be rather difficult for Chaewon to admit that she was terrified, but god she was scared shitless. She can feel the slightly warm, pinkish flower petal pressed against the center of her cold hands. She never dreamed that she could possibly catch Hanahaki disease. It was rare and she didn't take herself for someone that would fall for someone else very easily or so hard and fast. 

She was Park Chaewon, the crunchy queen and also with the highest vocal range in all of Loona. She was proud of that, and this was going to tear down the image she worked so hard to build.

Chaewon pulls her jacket tighter around her, mind flooding with possibilities and how everything can go wrong from here. She knew one thing: it was certain that she couldn't tell anyone about the petals filling her chest and how much more difficult it would become to breath or even talk. To kill her slowly, as sad as it sounds.

The group could be angry at her for all she knows. For falling in love, for not saying anything, for spending hours upon hours in the bathroom and constantly going back and forth to vomit flower petals into the toilet and try to hide the evidence. They would come in to wake her up one morning and see the blood and petals and the silence of her heart. And with one member dead the group would suffer and crash, and then--

The blonde was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the soft, slight babyish voice from beside her. She hasn't realized how her shoulders had been shaking, pupils dilated and eyes widened with the outcomes and her dead body vivid in her head. Chaewon eventfully looks up at the girl after failing to recollect herself. 

"I'm alright, Hyejoo. Just a little tired is all, I needed some fresh air. Why did you come out here? Don't you have a few more shots to film?" Chaewon chided softly in her usual caring voice for the younger girl, but she might notice the tone of stress and fear wavering underneath the thick layers of artificial confidence . Chaewon was looking anywhere that weren't her eyes.

"Yeah, but...just wanted to make sure you were okay," Hyejoo admitted. There was no issue in wanting some air, especially during a film shoot of any kind, though Hyejoo worried her little joke might have in some way upset Chaewon. Maybe she knew someone in the group was actually liking someone past friendship, and got upset for them.

Hyejoo didn't brush the idea away that someone as strong as Chaewon would do such an honorable thing. "I think being in there has gotten me a little flustered," Hyejoo waved her hands across her face. "Too many lights. Too many people watching, too. So much nicer practicing at home away from the crew." There was truth to that.

For Hyejoo, she'd much prefer the rehearsals that she, Chaewon, Sooyoung, and Jiwoo would leap into at random moments. The times Hyejoo would pester Chaewon to practice while they were standing around waiting. She felt comfortable enough to be close, to lean on them when she needed a boost of confidence, and just feel supported at all times.

Hyejoo looked up to Chaewon in many ways, and knew she'd be a friend to keep by her side. Strong friends can get you through anything, Hyejoo was told by her old dance teacher. Groups like this can form just as much rivalry as there is camaraderie, so it was important to Hyejoo to nurture friendships and avoid anything that could jeopardize that.

A quiet laugh comes from the blonde, though it seems slightly forced for a moment. "You don't need to worry about me, Hye. You're the who's working your butt off today to film these shoots, enjoy the filming while it lasts." 

Chaewon smiled before she gestured for the girl to sit down beside her. If Hyejoo ever did something that made feel uncomfortable, it'd be easy to tell and she'd talk about it when they had some time alone. Chaewon definitely wouldn't let something like that slide especially when Hyejoo was probably the closest one to her in her entire group. 

“Ah, I get that. It's a little nerve wracking with everyone around but you eventually get used to it. It always gets me a little nervous.." She smiled, easily falling back to her relaxed yet relatable persona she had never failed to maintain. 

Chaewon was able to find comfort in being around Hyejoo and she was always just a little more alert when it regarded the dark-haired girl. These thoughts, she realizes, these are what caused her disease. Her smile doesn't meet her eyes, but the shorter girl merely leans against the wolf instead.

"When we're done shooting for today, do you think we should sleep early and skip games? You have to film that one building scene later tonight and I don't want you to be too tired."

Part of what Chaewon was saying sounded very much like she was looking after her, but Hyejoo was still convinced that Chaewon was upset about something." That's fine," Hyejoo said, moving into position and taking a seat next to Chaewon." You're right, I should probably get to bed a little earlier tonight. You too though, because I think we all need a little more rest." 

Hyejoo stared ahead. "The last couple of weeks have been quite hectic, but I'm glad you're here to get me through it," Hyejoo threw a big smile Chaewon's way. "The whole team really, you've all been so great to me during this time. I don't know what I do without all of you." 

Chaewon listened to her carefully, a fond smile on her face when Hyejoo looked at her. “Of course, Hyejoo. And we’ll do it for you again and again, so don’t you worry about a thing. We’ll all be here for each other. Also, that was totally greasy, baby wolf.” 

Genuine to her word, Hyejoo laid her head on Chaewon's shoulder to just soak in the moment of peace and quiet. Car parks aren't usually the most beautiful places to sit, but they are some of the quietest during work hours. If there was any chance for the two of them to idly sit somewhere and just take some time off, Hyejoo would lap it up instantly. "Right, I guess I should head back in," Hyejoo clasped her knees. "I really don't want to, though

Hyejoo turned to look at Chaewon before rubbing her friend's back with her hand. "I feel like we don't get to spend enough time together as friends outside at work, you know?" she spoke with a bit of a pause. "We're all working so hard, that I think we need a break." 

“Other than our time together at home and playing games, we really don’t spend much time together. After this you’ll have to go to school normally again while BBC lines us up for yyxy. A break would be lovely though of course, some of us definitely need it.” Chaewon agreed.

Sliding an arm easily around her waist, she hugged her close against her warm body and looked to Hyejoo. There was a stunning raven-haired girl beside her, cheeks slightly flushed and lips parted. Her eyes were a focused dull gaze set on the scenery around them, and Chaewon could only imagine how easy it’d be to close the distance between them. She feels a frog in her throat, one that she can’t force down as easily and ends up wheezing and making an odd croaking noise.

It seemed like Hyejoo just had a fantastic idea, because her eyes lit up like Christmas tree lights, looking towards Chaewon with a big grin on her face. "Hey, I know!" Hyejoo beamed. "We need to convince management that we need the day off, or at least a nice dinner to just unwind. What do you say? Should I pester them near the end of today to maybe get something lined up for tomorrow?"

That smile made Chaewon’s heart stop. It was an exquisite pain to be reminded of how perfect and beautiful her best friend was, her unrequited love turned to her. “To unwind and stuff..” she thought. Keeping her at an arm’s distance at all times would be harsh, but also somewhat necessary. Yet here she was, struggling to say no. “Let’s do it. I can ask while you film, I’m sure the director won’t mind. The employees need rest too.”

"We do need rest," Hyejoo said. "It's too easy for us to just work work work, and there's not enough time to just live in the moment for us as girls. Just not as idols or dancers or performers or any of the other tasks we have to do." 

Perhaps the day's shoot was getting to her too, and as she took the effort to stand, she realized that she would have to go back outside. Not just outside, but on the rooftop, where things not only get freezing cold, but super windy." You tell that director--" Hyejoo began. "--that after this scene Heejin and I are filming… if I get frozen fingers or pneumonia, then we're getting a very big holiday… and that I need you to come with me to take care of me. And Heejin. Maybe Jiwoo could do that."

“We’ll hit it bigger, Hyejoo. And then we can take all the time off that we need and bask in each other’s company and feel amazing, wouldn’t that be lovely? Then we’re just girls again that are able to act our own age.”

Seeing Chaewon on the floor still, Hyejoo stood with her hands on her hips." Are you still going to need some time alone?" Hyejoo asked." Do you want me to send one of the other girls out to keep you company for a while?"

Pursing her lips, Chaewon nodded slightly. “I’m just gonna be out here for a little bit longer. It’s alright, I’ll be inside soon, I’ll ask the girls at home to save us some lunch in case you’re hungry too.”

It was so matter-of-factly that every single one of the twelve Loona girls needed support from each other, and there were times where they just needed a break from all of it, but it was hard to tell when each of them needed one or the other. It wasn't often that her unnie would need large amounts of time to herself, but Hyejoo was very cautious to not let any of her friends feel any less loved than she did. 

"I'm sure we can get a little R & R eventually," Hyejoo assured Chaewon. "Making us work for so long..." Hyejoo slipped her smartphone out of her pocket and checked the time. "Holy crap, we've been doing this since five this morning." 

Hyejoo took a deep breath in and deep breath out, gave one last smile and squished her middle finger and thumb together for a V shape and gave a wink. "Love4Eva," Hyejoo said with a whispered voice. With that, Hyejoo faced the direction of the elevator and started to walk away. In the back of her mind Hyejoo made a note to herself to ensure that Chaewon would be fine once they got home. Not playing games would be fine, but nonetheless Hyejoo would miss the camaraderie after such a long day. 

Clicking the elevator button, Hyejoo could hear the hum of machinery slowly descending the box that would carry her up to the top floor, where the winds would be fierce and the night long. With one last exasperated sigh, Hyejoo just shouted out "Wolfie out!" and walked into the elevator.

Even if it’s just for the briefest moment, she wished that Hyejoo was insistent to stay with her and find out why she has ran away so suddenly. But her fantasies wouldn’t come true, and she’d definitely be aware of that in the upcoming future where the consequences would finally hit. For now the blonde wanted to spend her time with Hyejoo and enjoy things as they always did, and die thinking of the girl she loves. 

Chaewon glanced down at her phone, where it indeed showed the time. Nevertheless, it was still somewhat cold and the layers on the blonde would most likely be getting to her soon. A sense of pride fills her chest when she thinks about Hyejoo’s accomplishments and working hard throughout this weather.

Chaewon’s eyes widen but she chuckled quietly and held her hands to her chest, curving her back similarly to when Yves had shot Chuu’s heart with her love arrow. Chaewon watched the back of Hyejoo’s head with a find smile on her own lips, heart racing in her ears. There are moments like these where she felt like she was on top of the world, and most of these were only able to occur with the younger girl by her side. The one she loved was this talented, beautiful lady, who has the power to grant Chaewon the fulfillment and joy of experiencing the moments she treasured on a daily basis.

As the elevator doors close she could’ve sworn that she sees Chaewon hunched over on the curb, quivering and wrenching, but the doors shut and she’s already going down. A flurry of petals rush out from Chaewon’s mouth and onto the ground, and she slid back on the scratchy asphalt of the street when she realizes how quickly it’s spread already. Chaewon closed her eyes and covered her face.

Park Chaewon is in love.


	2. II

Chaewon has to admit, she may have underestimated how well she’d be able to handle the whole hanahaki disease thing. Don’t get her wrong, there’s no one else in the entire universe that she’d rather have feelings for, it’s just that working so closely with her crush made it feel much more difficult.

While sitting in a chair by the side with her yyxy uniform on, she saw Sooyoung and Jiwoo acting with the LoonaTV camera. She smiled at her friends and made a face when they pointed the camera at her. It was always fun to mess around with them, and especially nice to pass the time while waiting for her counterpart to arrive. The entire day the girls had been putting on frilly dresses and neatlypressed clothing, and the uniform jacket shoot would be the last of the day. They got a lot done thankfully, which would be especially helpful with the upcoming schedules the sub-unit would have.

Chaewon yawned softly, eyes scanning the room for the familiar baby-face that she’s come to love. So far the staff are still setting up the sets for Rosy’s photography, so all she can really do for now is just sit back and wait for her turn. Chaewon gagged— a small petal. She wrapped her handkerchief around it and shoved it back into her pocket, more frustrated with the stupid disease than anything.

What she hadn’t been expecting was her crush to burst into the room, hardly breathing and looking rather rushed. She had to admit, she looked really cute even while she was out of breath. And she didn’t blame the girl for being late either, as Chaewon had pretty much been sleeping on one of the couches just a few minutes ago. It had been short so there was no struggles in makeup there, but power naps had become one of the few things she looked forward to whenever she had the time.

"Hey-! Uhm, sorry I'm late. I dozed off a little and then I got lost around the building so one of the staff members had helped me, and I, uh, give me a moment." Hyejoo groaned, huffing and bending over with her hands on her knees. Chaewon found it endearing, biting her lower lip and stiffling a low laugh. 

“Don’t worry about it, Hye. They haven’t even finished setting up the set yet, so you have plenty of time to relax and get changed.” She informed her with a small smile, looking the girl up and down. “You're doing great for your first photoshoot. Just make sure that this won't be your last, wolfie. The makeup artists are ready for you.” Chaewon said in a lighthearted tone whilst gesturing to the few staff nearby, waiting.

Hyejoo's triangular lips pull into a pout, but she laughed breathlessly before running a hand through her dark mane. "Yeah, right. Thanks Chae. You look pretty in your outfit, but you always do." She paused, ears warming as she sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. 

The blonde's cheeks blossom an indeed rosy color when Hyejoo complemented her, and she felt warm butterflies in her stomach. “Thanks, Hyejoo. You’ll look really pretty in yours later, just you wait.” Chaewon hooked one of her arms into Hyejoo’s, gently rubbing the girl’s palm with her thumb. As it just so happens, a familiar brunette emerged from one of the doors. “Oh, baby wolf! I thought you weren’t going to show up!" Sooyoung walked over to the younger girl, ruffling her hair before sitting down in the third seat. Chaewon looks over and gives her a quiet smile, which is returned with a quirk of a smile and a wave.

“You should probably get going to get your things done, Hyejoo. They’ll start calling you soon.” Chaewon told her, meeting Hyejoo’s face with a warm look.

When Hyejoo walks away to the other side of the room, Chaewon takes out her handkerchief and coughed lightly into it. Sooyoung raised a brow at the blonde. It wasn't the first time she saw the girl with the cloth today, but she had never used it before this.. “Chaewon? Are you okay? If you’re sick they could just continue the shoot tomorrow. You know how they feel about our health," Sooyoung reminded her.

Chaewon smiled lightly at her and shook her head. "We don't have much to do today. It'll be fine, Sooyoung-unnie." The older girl shook her head, but kept a secure hand on top of Chaewon's in silent comfort.

-~ ++ ~-

Chaewon’s occasionally found her eyes wandering towards the ravenette. Hyejoo looked busy, with the makeup artist that was usually somewhat quiet with the rest of the members. With Hyejoo though, she was just so talkative and it made Chaewon glance away in jealousy. At this point she’d need to throw some petals away, with the amount that was coming out of this. 

With her hands trembling she suddenly stands from her seat. She couldn’t even hear the chatter of the makeup artist or the worried questions from Sooyoung. “S-sorry, I’ll be back.” She said in a rushed whisper, throwing a look Hyejoo’s way before frantically dashing out of the room to dispose of the petals in her hand and her mouth.

Practically throwing open the door to the bathroom, her pride is temporarily forgotten as she knelt over the bowl of the toilet, coughing out violent flower petals into the porcelain. 

Chaewon can’t stop the stream of petals, and she doesn’t know when it’ll stop. All she knows is that it hurts so much, with her throat raw and her eyes brimming with tears. So far, thankfully, it had only been one flower petal per cough, but with the amount of time she spent with Hyejoo, it would definitely change quickly.

Nothing can fix Hanahaki. Having the surgery would erase all memory of Hyejoo, which will only be more painful in the long run, and for a company that relies so much on communication and each other, it would be terrible. All of Loona would change when Chaewon walks into the living room looking fresh and clean and unlike how she’s been suffering for weeks already. And Hyejoo being her roommate and her best friend, Chaewon only tilted her head to the side and asks:

’I appreciate your affection, but who are you?’

Sooyoung watches as Hyejoo’s face contorts with emotions, the eagerness from before the the slight dull of her features when Sooyoung told Hyejoo that Chaewon was just a little sick and would need some time.

Except this illness isn't just some little cold, but a lethal and slow churning of pain.

At one point, someone draped a blanket over her. It was funny that they assumed it was sleep that was bothering her, but it wasn’t as warm as she would’ve liked it. Hyejoo would make it feel better. All of her thoughts revolved around her, the singer that had so easily stolen her heart and the air from her lungs, replacing them with flowers of death. In the shots where they pose together, she resisted wanting to hold onto the girl, tell her what’s going on and make things better for both of them. But she couldn’t.

Chaewon balled up her handkerchief around the petals, trying to hold down the monstrous amount of flower that would be soon to come. Sure, they came out in small amounts, but it was enough to get her to be worried. She didn’t need everyone to be fussing over her still, Chaewon was struggling underneath all of this to hold herself together by the string. And it would only get worse, eventually coming out with blood and full bunches. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for that day, who ever was? To know that your time was already limited with such a short lifespan, only getting worse by spending more time with the one you love the most.

Under the water in her ears, she could have sworn that Hyejoo said something. It was only when the younger girl had waved a hand in her face did she realize that she actually had. "Hey, Ko-Gong? Are you okay?"

“It.. things could be better, if I’m being completely honest.” She wanted to tell Hyejoo what was going on. Everything, how she felt, what aching she felt when Hyejoo looked at her with obsidian eyes that make her swoon. “Are you holding up okay, Hyejoo? I know this is a lot of work to do right now, and even more so with promotions and all, but I just want to make sure that you’re alright so we can make it through together.” That glint of hope, the fiery burn in Chaewon’s eyes when she has first entered Loona. The perfect smile that always turned gummy when it was directed to Hyejoo. It was amazing how the korean hadn't realized the way Chaewon stared at her so often.

Yet here she was again, asking about how this gorgeous girl, the love of her life was rather than being concerned over her insides slowly tightening up with the thorns and petals that sewn themselves into her. It might not have been the best approach but she was thankful that the girl wasn’t hurt that she hadn’t been talking as much to her. 

"I'm okay. I have a little trouble sleeping still, but it's fun to be around all of this stuff. I never really thought that I'd get here, you know?" Hyejoo offered a smile, hand grazing Chaewon's. 

"But I want to talk about you. You've been coughing a lot.. do you need me to ask the manager to buy cough medicine for you? We have a fan meet and greet soon too, you'd have to be in your best condition.."

“I can handle it, Hyejoo, don’t worry. We can’t reschedule when our fans are already there, anyways.” Chaewon says, giving her a warm smile to help reassure the girl.

Unlike what had been happening for the past month or so, Chaewon clung onto Hyejoo’s arm and held her tightly as if she’s afraid of letting go. It was a simple fact that being too close could have some serious consequences. Well, somewhat. Her warmth, how she missed when the two could innocently snuggle up to one another without worry or care. Hyejoo is a taste of home that she craves, the taste that could become her true home so long as the girl was okay with that. Chaewon sighed comfortably, ignoring the heavy weight settling in her chest. With Hyejoo, she needed to make sure that her maknae was safe and sound, mentally and physically. And, though she wouldn’t admit it, Chaewon missed this more than she would have ever expected before.

Physical and emotional comfort was the best she could offer as Hyejoo's unnie, and the fact that the girl was new to the idol business. Chaewon hadn't realized that doing this could make her catch feelings, but it was inevitable. They had talked about boundaries and values before, and everything that they could explore with their friendship.

If they weren’t busy trying to head out to undress, Chaewon would have pulled the younger girl into a tight hug and reassure her that everything was alright between them. And it was, really, it was just Chaewon being the problem here. If only she could explain everything to her, it would definitely take a whole lot of weight off of Chaewon’s chest. She rubbed the girl’s arm soothingly while holding it, and she can’t help the desperate flutters of her heart in her chest.

There was a bit of a catastrophe in the changing room. It was mostly because of the amount of clothing that they had to wear here. It was still somewhat chilly out, which resulted in jackets and extra shirts and sweaters scattered about on the floor.

"We can blame Sooyoung and Jiwoo for this, it's fine. They're older and they're meant to look after us.." Hyejoo cracked a grin, making Chaewon smile widely as well. 

Chaewon slipped off her jacket, placing it to the side before beginning to unbutton the cursed yellow crop tops that they had to wear. She didn’t mind undressing in front of girls, seeing as they were girls and they were by themselves in the dressing room. But it was way different when it happened to be the girl of your fantasies and dreams and everything happy.

She slipped off her skirt before reaching down to the pile of clothes while in her undergarments to pull out her beloved pink hoodie. Putting it to the side to dress into later, she pulled on the rest of the clothes she had worn on the way here. Turning to Hyejoo, Chaewon witnessed the girl struggle to reach the zipper in the back of her top. "Do you.. need help?"

Chaewon has to admit, it was rather funny to watch the big bad wolf absolutely fail to take off the outfit. In due time she’d have to do it quickly on her own when they would need to change out to different uniforms for concerts and debuts. Chaewon smiled, despite how endearing the girl was proving to be at the moment. The flowers settle inside of her just for a moment, allowing her to function properly before she’s set off in another fit of agony. Chaewon was surprisingly holding up okay, as the shoot hadn’t felt all that long to her. She had really just been mentally preparing herself for tonight.

"That would really be appreciated. I'm too tired to deal with all of this.. hah." Hyejoo let her arms fall to her sides, waiting for Chaewon to take her place. 

Chaewon walked behind Hyejoo, unhooking the top button and unzipping the rest down to allow the crop top to fall from her chest. Her eyes gaze upon the silvery bra clasp but she averted her gaze, opting to put the crop top down instead and allow Hyejoo her decency. “If it makes you feel better, we have some free time after the fan greeting. Do you think you’d want to go get some food with me?” 

An offer that Hyejoo used to hear all the time, paused after the Egoist recordings and now wiggled into their schedule. It had been a while since they had gone out alone together, but Chaewon never felt an inch of regret when her time was spent with Hyejoo.

In the meantime she gingerly folded the discarded outfits they had been wearing earlier to make an easier task on the staff members when the two girls finally were able to exit the building. Though, it occured to her that her handkerchief with the petals are still inside of her jacket pocket. Would Hyejoo notice them if she took it out? It was too risky. She’ll throw it away later.

"Of course!" Hyejoo turned, now with a light grey shirt on. "I'd be more than happy to- ooh, can we get chicken feet? Or tteobokki?" The wolf moved around the room, redressing herself as she did so. Hyejoo seemed just as eager to go out as Chaewon was.

She isn’t sure if her smile can stretch out any wider, enough to make her cheeks hurt for sure when she looks at the girl. Chaewon chuckled a little bit, but she was looking forward to spending quality time with Hyejoo. Seeing the girl happy like this was definitely one of her most favorite things in the world, though maybe it was because of how whipped Chaewon was for her.

What she doesn’t realize is that there are indeed flower petals scattered across the floor with her handkerchief sticking out of her jacket pocket. She only truly notices when Hyejoo spoke up about it, and she’s horrified.

Hyejoo pointed down at the ground. "Look! Aren't they pretty? I wonder if someone snuck in to put these here.. maybe set the feeling for rosy? I wonder where they got these, but then again, it is cherry blossom season.."

Chaewon’s eyes widen as Hyejoo held out the petal to her. It was so sickening— these things plagued her body, yet the girl was acting like it was the cutest thing ever. Until she realizes that this was of course an innocent action, and she quickly slipped on a mask of warmth. “A secret admirer? Here? I don't think so.” Chaewon said incredulously while shaking her head.

"Really now? I think they'd be perfect for someone like you, Cha Cha, you're so pretty. But, whatever you say." Hyejoo shrugged before carelessly tossing the petals to the ground. Chaewon mentally sighed in relief. 

Sitting down on the small couch at the side of the room, Hyejoo splayed out her body. "I'm so tired.. I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight instead of playing games. It sounds great.." Hyejoo giggled head rolling back as she closed her eyes and relaxed.

Chaewon’s feels her brain turn to fuzz as Hyejoo laughs, and she can’t remember the last time when she’s heard her laugh so freely this month. It's so nice to know that Hyejoo can still enjoy herself, and the baby-featured student is just as warm as ever.

Unaware of the harboring respect that Hyejoo had for her, Chaewon thought she was just being normal. There were times where she definitely did go out of her way to do things for Hyejoo and see that beaming smile again, but Hyejoo wormed her way into Chaewon’s heart before she even realized it. For the better or for the worse, Hyejoo is almost always on Chaewon’s mind and she can’t help it. Which, is maybe when her lungs decided it needed a little more than air.

It was then when Hyejoo suddenly got up and stumbled over a few petals on the ground. They had spread throughout the room with Hyejoo and her moving around, but Hyejoo caught herself and stabilized on the couch. "Oh! I'm such a mess today," she chuckled lowly. 

’My mess,’ Chaewon thought giddily to herself. “Okay, ready to go?” She offered, giving the room one last look around to make sure all the clothes had been put away. “Manager is driving us back in the van.”

Hyejoo nodded obediently, reaching out for Chaewon's hand. A bit hesitantly, the blonde connected with her fingers woven in between Hyejoo's. The two found themselves smiling, and happened to look up at the same time. Chaewon looked away, cheeks flushed while Hyejoo shook her head and smiled, leading Chaewon out of the dressing room.


	3. III

Chaewon didn’t feel prepared, if she was being honest with herself. There was just no way.

It was their first fan meet and Chaewon hardly slept last night with the nerves a constant funneling into her thoughts. She wasn’t even able to talk to Hyejoo, who had been in class the entire day. Jiwoo must be pretty frustrated at her for all of those loud twists and turns in her bed, but she couldn’t help it. Time seemed to fly though and now she found herself contemplating life, slumped over in the metal chair. 

And then there was the fear that something would go down at this fan meet and Chaewon would end up wheezing flowers mid conversations, which happened to be one of the many unlikely scenarios the girl had made up in her head. 

Really, there was no easy way to go about this. Hanahaki was a challenge that was now incorporated into her own lifestyle, which was pretty scary since Chaewon was definitely no nobody- she was a famous idol that had a reputation to maintain. And if she coughs too much, it’ll worry the fans and make them think that she’s sick, which would be even worse.

"Chae," Hyejoo spoke up from her seat beside her, successfully breaking the silence that had settled between them. "You sure you're gonna last for the next few hours? You were moving a lot last night." The singer noted, turning in her seat to face the blonde.

“Maybe,” she shrugged. “I’m just looking forward to getting this over with so we can finally go and do something quiet and peaceful for once.” Chaewon admitted while nervously twisting the sleeves of her outfit between her fingers. 

Her lavender handkerchief lay safely tucked away in the pocket of her dress, a reassurance for Chaewon and her alone. “How do you feel, Hyejoo?”

The brunette looked at Chaewon with an unreadable expression before wordlessly reaching over and gently securing Chaewon's hand into her own. Hyejoo didn't notice Chaewon's tense shoulders the moment she touched her. 

"I feel.. pretty okay about all of this, actually. I'm just a little bit nervous, but that's to be expected I guess, huh? This is my first interaction with the orbits, so uh, the more I talk about it the more scary it actually it is." Hyejoo said it in such a tone that Chaewon lifted a hand to her face, letting out a lighthearted laugh before scooting over and sitting directly by the wolf before she lost the chance to.

"But you look really pretty today- not that you aren't everyday. If anything I uh, wouldn't want to do this with anyone else- I mean, not that I dislike them. I- well--" Her ever so puffy cheeks redden and at that, it only truly sunk in what Hyejoo had said to her. 

Her eyes widened and Hyejoo would have been able to see the comically bright brush that covered her face had it not been for her makeup and her collar hiding away her reddening neck. She can’t even coherently respond to her, so instead she just covered her mouth and nodded shyly in Hyejoo’s direction.

Still, she can relate to the girl. “It’s the first for you and the second for me, and you’ll do wonderfully, Hye. You always do.” She looked around before shyly interlocking their fingers into a much more intimate hand hold. Hyejoo's eyebrows raise into her forehead but strangely enough, the younger girl relaxed and just like that her smile brightened and Chaewon swore that it envied the sun's (sorry Yerim) glorious rays of warmth.

There were rows of seats in front of the table that the two girls shared, where fans can sit while they come up and get signatures from Hyejoo and Chaewon. “It’s happening, Olivia,” she muttered softly.

"Yeah uh, good luck, okay? I'll.." Hyejoo fell silent for a moment before reaching over and gently hugging the older girl as if telling her telepathically that they'd be okay and pull through just like all the other girls had done before them.

Chaewon doesn’t want to let go of Hyejoo just yet, she wanted to sink down against the younger girl’s body without worrying about what the fans thought of them. But they were professionals and they definitely couldn’t do that kind of stuff in public, especially when they were on camera throughout the entire event. Chaewon hummed in response, tightening her hold on their hands. Yeah, they would be okay.

-~++~-

To be completely honest, she had been expecting more attention to be directed to Hyejoo due to her being new to Loona and probably having the most questions to answer. There’d be a lot of people to go through here though, so she would expect some kind of radiant positivity and eagerness from the lucky fans who had came.

“Thank you very much!” Chaewon giggled, looking at the two in front of her. “Bbomi! I miss him, aha. It’s been a while since I’ve checked on him. How are both of your days? Have you eaten yet?” The normal conversation starters for any idol fan meet. Chaewon held out both of her hands for the girls to hold, as of way to show that idols and fans were allowed to have a close connection. The room was already bustling with excitement, and pictures being snapped already. This was a good start to the event, that was for sure.

Chaewon glanced over at Hyejoo, a happy smile on her face and a twinkle in her own eyes. But her attention was quickly pulled back to the two fans sitting in front of her, which she was more than happy to do.

The interactions mostly went like that, save for the lucky few that would probably burn themselves into the girls' memories of their first few fan signs. A few of the fans were really touching as well, telling the artists how much they admired them. Debuting really had affected their life styles whether they liked it or not, but it was lovely to see people you wouldn't normally see at a fan sign with the idols.

"Jooberry! Aren't you just busy, eh?"

Almost immediately, Chaewon noticed Hyejoo’s sudden liveliness and matched it up to the next person in line. For some reason, her stomach dropped and she felt a sense of dread bubble within her. A pout was close to making its way onto her features, but she held back and smiled at the fan in front of them. “Hello!” She greeted cheerily, opposite to how she was feeling at the moment.

Hyejoo was holding hands with the stranger, a bright smile on her face that definitely outmatched the one she had seen from the younger girl just over half an hour ago. "Cho! Oh my gosh! I can't believe you're here!" Hyejoo laughed, unrestrained and careless. 

Oil was being thrown into the fire as she heard Hyejoo’s shriek of excitement. The younger girl never got that loud, ever, but it reminded Chaewon that she wasn’t the closest one to Hyejoo.. and she may never be. She paled slightly, the bright flickering in her eyes dimming slightly while she took in the friend. ’Jooberry..’ Chaewon isn’t sure how to react in this situation. Maybe if things had been just a little different for Chaewon, she could be like this with Hyejoo. Or, maybe just never be part of her life.

"Cha Cha, this is Cho! Say hello!" Chaewon turned to look at the other girl properly. She had short chopped hair that fell just below shoulder length, and a rather relaxed style that said much about her personality. Or, maybe it wasn't good for Chaewon to judge someone so quickly, but.. "Hi! I hope you've been taking care of this little brat," Cho held out a hand to Chaewon.

“It’s a pleasure,” She said politely yet stiffly, reaching out to gently shake her hand before pulling away and hiding that hand under the table. She had been sure to use the hand that she hadn’t held with Hyejoo’s, but she was almost positive that the younger girl wouldn’t notice the discomfort in her unnie when she was faced with one of her closest friends. “Cho, is it? Are you one of Olivia’s old friends?” Chaewon asked in her fine print voice, a much smaller font than what it had been earlier.

Her eyes drift down to the table for a moment but she met Cho’s quickly and forced a natural smile on her face as to hope that she wasn’t making the girl feel bad.

"Oh, yeah! We've been in the same class since well, forever! I wouldn't trade this wolfie for the world!" Cho grinned fondly down at Hyejoo, to which the brunette returned. They really were close it seemed. 

"Cho would help me out with all my work and.." It became drowned out mumbles in Chaewon's head.

Chaewon’s jaw clenched even harder as each valuable second ticked on by. She shouldn’t be jealous of Cho, or feel this burning green fire within her. It made Chaewon feel terrible, to feel so possessive over her younger member. But she was still fighting with her perfect professional etiquette.

“Ah, it'll probably only get busier for all of us. Make sure Hyejoo stays focused at school..” Chaewon made up the best response she could, having only heard the last few words of their conversation. Chaewon wished for a moment that Hyejoo could just turn to her, give her a smile that told her ‘You will always be number one’ like how she had always dreamed. But there was nothing left for her- in the end, Chaewon was just an option. Everything else came first.

The hanahaki was seriously kicking in some not-so-fun thoughts at the moment (which, by the way, was all her own mind and no substantial facts), but her cheeks were beginning to hurt from being pulled up in a smile for so long. From the light punch to the number that she just saw Cho handing Hyejoo, it was like someone kicked her in the lungs over and over again and replaced any air she had left. It felt like shit, quite frankly.

Her eyes temporarily flickered over to the manager and then to the next person in line, hoping that they could really get this over with and before she had to witness any more of Cho and Hyejoo's interactions.

Mentally, she scolded herself for trying to push Cho away. Hyejoo had other friends and so did Chaewon, so she shouldn't think like that. The green was shoved away, buried under her constant stress and worries. Even when Cho left it was still on her mind, and that was when Chaewon decided that she definitely had to do something.


End file.
